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Eric Guillot, a Louisiana-native and trainer of Travers entry Moreno, has a way with words. Don’t believe me? Here’s 10 Guillot statements he made within a 10 minute time frame Wednesday. For the full effect they are mostly out of context, but all are in jest. I think. Enjoy!

1. Slightly longer than a Haiku:

“It’s horse racing -- four legs, a tail, and somebody whooping their butt -- everybody got a chance.”

2. Explication:

“More efficient than Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.”

3. Pre-gumbo cookout:

“I’m actually teaching Moreno before I got here how to Cajun two-step in the stall. Teach him how to use the paddle and stir it to save a lot of elbow grease.”

4. Do you believe in voodoo?

“At Walmart, Wally-world as we call it in Louisiana, I was looking for a Ken doll but it was too buff for Todd. Then they had the Twilight guy. Isn’t it classic? It looks just like him. They didn’t have no white hair. With Baffert I had to sew on some white hair on a Spongebob. He deleted my phone number after the Breeders’ Cup.”

5. The secret to winning:

“My horse is going to have to run faster.”

6. The master tactition:

“The scenario is, as soon as they smell the bear grease in his tail on the first turn, I’ll be three in front and they’ll sits back. Then they’ll get confident on the backside then they’ll get to the bear grease again. They don’t test for bear grease.”

7. The marriage of science and carnival games:

“You only have ‘x’ amount of hemoglobin in the bloodline, you know? Have you ever been to the street fairs back in the day? When you had that machine gun with the red star you had to shoot up? You know as well as I do if you shoot too many in the first three seconds you’re not going to get the red star.”

8. Explication, part II:

“That’s why it took him so long to break his maiden. As soon as he realized he was a great NFL quarterback he started running.”

9. The double entendre:

“I had to get the jockey club people in Kentucky, the old ladies, I had to write a written memo and fax it to them why we were naming this horse. Nothing as much as we named one Skinny Peter a couple years ago. My partner goes, ‘It was a buddy of mine named Peter who was skinny in high school.’”

10. Seeking investors:

“If I had three port-a-lets and a pickup truck I’d be a rich man. There’s no public bathrooms in that whole city! The line would be from here all the way to the racing office. I couldn’t wait to get to Jersey.”

David Johnson of The Saratogian takes you through the Monday card at Saratoga Race Course. Submit your questions and comments beginning at 12:30 p.m.

David Johnson of The Saratogian takes you through the Monday card. Chime in with your questions and comments starting at 12:30 p.m.

Turf writer Andrew Champagne of The Saratogian takes you through Whitney Day at Saratoga Race Course! Chime in with your questions and comments beginning at 12:30 p.m.